Yzak's Voodoo doll
by sephiroth12285
Summary: Well the title says it all. Yzak's mom gets her son a Voodoo doll as a gift. What would happen if he used it on a certain someone? No character bashing in this not on purpose anyway. Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1 The Voodoo doll

A/N: ok another short humor fic is up. This one maybe two or three chapters depending. Anyway a foreword first…Kira fans please don't take this personal, but despite all that will happen just remember this saying what goes around comes around. Anyway the title and summary explains itself so please enjoy and offer suggestions if you wish.

Chapter 1

The Voodoo doll

It was a nice and sunny day at the PLANT city of Martius City as Ezalia Jule was walking up to a odd looking store in front of her. She opened the door and she went inside the strange little shop. Inside the shop the store had many objects that were simply bizarre and very creepy in nature. She saw monkey hands in a jaw, an alligator eyeball hanging up on a stick and a very freaky looking statue that Mrs. Jule couldn't really make any sense of. As Ezalia examined the shop a small voice behind her said.

"Can I help you with something?"

The voice was so sudden that Ezalia almost jumped out of her skin, but she recovered from the shock as she turned around and saw a short little old man standing there wearing dark sunglasses and wearing old robes. "Yes I am looking for a gift for my son." Mrs. Jule replied. "I only came here since this store had a ninety percent off of everything sign out front." Ezalia thought.

"Your son eh…I have just the thing that will satisfy him." The store owner said as he disappeared into the back of his shop to return later with a small box. He laid it out on the counter in front of Mrs. Jule and he opened it saying "This is a voodoo doll. Just place a hair of someone your son wants to torment and he make whoever he wants suffer. The doll is indestructible and no matter what he does to it the doll will not be destroyed and the victim will not die no matter how much pain he cause him or her."

"I don't believe in such things, but I suppose this will make a fun gift for Yzak." Mrs. Jule commented.

"Good…it is only one dollar." The store owner replied.

"Well that is an excellent deal…I'll take it." Ezalia said as she bought the doll.

Once she had it in a bag she left and returned home later to give it to her son. Upon arriving at home Ezalia handed the box to her son Yzak while the young Yzak pilot asked "What the heck is this?"

"I thought I could give you something fun to entertain yourself with." His mother said with a smile as Yzak opened up the box and saw the voodoo doll inside. "It's a voodoo doll. Just place a hair of one of the people you wish to torment and then you can cause them any kind of pain you want without fear of killing them." Mrs. Jule informed.

"It's a cheap doll." Yzak grunted.

"Oh just get someone's hairs and try it out. Who knows maybe it will work." Ezalia answered.

"Alright…maybe I can use it on Athrun or Dearka the next time I see one of them." Yzak said with a moody expression on his face as he juggled the doll in his hands. But suddenly a thought popped into his mind. "If this voodoo doll did work the first person I want to try it on would be that Kira Yamato."

A day later down on earth in Orb Kira was in a haircut shop cutting getting his hair trimmed. After he was done and a bit of his hair was left Yzak popped up from behind the store as he seized the hair and he placed it inside his doll.

"It's a good think Dearka told me that Kira likes getting his haircut done here." Yzak through as he watched the doll suddenly changed to look more like Kira. Kira picked up a small needle as he ran up to the window so he could watch Kira. He poked doll in the back once and at the same time Kira jumped up feeling his back. Yzak did it again and the same thing happened.

Yzak kept the doll in its box until he returned home to the PLANTs where he could start his fun without any interruptions. Kira was in for a lot of trouble.

A/N: oh dear poor Kira. May the fanfiction author have mercy on his soul, but don't worry like I said Kira cannot be killed when someone torments him with voodoo no matter what Yzak does to it. But still the thought is scary isn't it. Anyway read and review next chapter coming soon.


	2. Chapter 2 Let the torment begin

A/N: I was very hesitant to put this chapter up due to all of the stuff that will happen to Kira so as a warning. Anyone who loves Kira should turn back now and not read this fic. Also I am sorry for doing this to Kira, but Yzak will get his in the end.

Chapter 2

Let the torment begin

Once Yzak had returned to his home at the PLANTs to being his fun torment of Kira. Yzak locked himself in his room after grabbing a box of needles. He laid the doll on the ground then he grabbed five needles and he started sticking them into the back of the doll. On earth back at Mariko's orphanage Kira was walking through the living room when suddenly he felt pain in his back.

"Is a bug biting me?" Kira thought as he felt his back with his hands.

"Kira are you alright?" Lacus asked as she stepped out from one of the rooms.

"I am not sure, but I think it." Kira was saying, but he started grunting as he felt needles being stuck into his back, legs, arms and his chest. Kira's grunts soon became cries of pain as he dropped to the ground in light of all of the pain he was being put under. Back at the PLANTs Yzak had quickly used up all of the needles he had. In fact even if he had any more needles he would have anywhere to stick them because the needles had completely covered the doll from head to toe.

"Sticking needles into a doll is boring…I have got some ideas." Yzak said as tormenting Kira through the use of a voodoo doll was starting to become a very additive habit.

Yzak took the doll out of his room and he stood at the top of the stairwell looking at the ground below. The Duel pilot got an idea as he started turning the head of the doll around in a complete three sixty degree turn. On Earth Lacus fainted when she saw Kira's head was spinning around like something from the exorcist. Yzak saw the ceiling fan above him. With a smile on his face he ran back into his room and he got some string and some tape. He turned off the fan then he attached the doll to one of the blades while it was hanging from a string.

Yzak turned the fan back on as he set its setting to high. The fan was spinning around with the doll faster and faster. While on earth Kira was suddenly sent flying into the air as he was spinning around. Lacus woke up and she saw Kira spinning around in the air. Lacus was freaked out.

Lacus screamed before running out the door shouting "I need a young priest and an old priest…poor Kira has been possessed!"

Kira was crying for help as he spun around faster and faster. Just as his face turned green the string holding his voodoo doll broke and Kira was sent flying through the roof and into the trees outside. Back on PLANT Yzak ran down the stairs to recover the doll. He picked it up while thinking of a few new ways to torment Kira to satisfy his addiction.

Yzak took the doll outside and he placed it on a tree stump. The sliver haired ZAFT pilot ran into a tool shed and he returned a few moments later with a large hammer. He was about to start pounding the doll with it, but Yzak looked back at the shed and smiled as he threw the hammer away as he went back into the shed to grab something even better.

Yzak grabbed a huge sledge hammer and he ran back towards the voodoo doll. Back on earth Kira had finished climbing down the tree he was sent flying into when suddenly he felt something crushing him as he felt something large and heavy was crushing his body. Back on the PLANT Yzak was having a hard time lifting the hammer up so he could hit Kira again. But hitting the voodoo doll the first time took a lot out of him just by lifting the hammer up the first time.

"Man…this hammer is heavy. Maybe I can." Yzak was thinking, but another smile appeared on his face when he saw a bike pump sitting near by. "Now there's a fun idea." Yzak thought as he grabbed the doll and ran towards the pump. Meanwhile back on Earth Lacus had returned to the cabin with Athrun and Cagalli. She called them over to the island by phone in light of the strange things that was happening to Kira.

"But I am telling you guys Kira was flying around in mid air, and then after that his head spun around." Lacus hysterically shouted to Athrun and Cagalli.

"Lacus I think you are just tired and stressed out. We'll prove that nothing is wrong with Kira." Cagalli said as they approached the house. As they neared the door the group saw Kira walking towards them.

"See Kira is fine. You were probably imaging things." Athrun said as Suddenly Kira started to get bigger as something was causing his belly to inflate like a balloon. "Kira have you been eating too much junk food lately?" Athrun asked as his jaw was left hanging as Kira was starting to float up into the air. Cagalli was horrified by the condition her brother was in. Lacus's eyes rolled back as she fell backwards and fainted again.

"What the hell is happening to you?" Cagalli shouted as she grabbed Kira's leg in an attempt to keep him from floating away. Kira was so big that despite Cagalli's attempt to hold him down Kira was continuing to float upwards. Athrun grabbed onto one of Kira's legs trying to keep him from floating away. "Kira you seriously need to go on a diet." Cagalli shouted.

"But I have barely eaten anything in the past two days." Kira shouted as he tried to reach out for a tree.

A moment later Kira was quickly deflating as the three teens dropped to the ground. Back on the PLANTs Yzak had shot the doll into the air across the yard. As he ran to retrieve his doll he came across a dog. The dog scooped up the doll in its mouth and it started biting it. A moment later a pack of dogs started biting on the doll in an attempt to seize it from the other dog.

At that moment on Earth Kira was on the ground screaming as he could feel the teeth of the dogs biting into his body. Although Kira was unable to figure out why he wasn't bleeding and why didn't he die. Was it punishment from the people he failed to protect or killed. Some much theories as to what was causing Kira's torment filled his mind as he was continuing trying to resist the pain, but it was no use.

After Yzak recovered the doll he was carrying it in his hand when the same dog ran by again and it stanched the doll from his hand and it ran towards an outdoor grill. Yzak quickly picked up a rock and he hit the doll out of the dog's mouth, but he sent the doll flying into the air where it landed on top of the grill where at that moment Yzak mom was behind it trying to light it. A second later a large flame engulfed the doll.

"Yzak do you want a lot of barbequed steaks for dinner tonight?" Yzak's mother asked.

"Sure; it sounds great, but could you get my doll out of the grill." Yzak answered.

"Hold on while I get the spatula" Yzak's mother replied as she went inside for a moment while the doll was left burning in the fire.

On Earth Kira was panicking as he was running around on fire. He dove into the ocean to try and put himself out, but the heat he was feeling was so hot that the water around him was boiling killing any near by fish. Lacus had recovered from her last fainting spell and when she saw Kira was on fire she screamed.

"Oh no Kira has internally combusted!" Lacus said right before screaming and then she fainted again from shock.

"Athrun what do we do?" Cagalli asked as she didn't have a clue as to how they could help Kira.

"I don't Cagalli, but we have to think of something." Athrun replied.

"I think I know why this is happening to Kira." Father Mariko said as he approached the two.

"What?" Athrun asked wanting to hear the blind man's answer.

"Kira is under the curse of a voodoo doll. Someone is using one to torment him." Father Mariko answered.

"No that can't be it. Voodoo dolls aren't even real." Cagalli commented.

"Then how do we explain what is happening to Kira." Athrun added to the comment.

"I think someone on PLANT who knows Mr. Yamato and holds a great deal of resentment is doing this to him." Mariko said.

"PLANT, but. Hey how do you know this?" Cagalli asked.

"Because I saw it on a TV commercial a moment ago saying that they sell voodoo dolls on the PLANT city of Martius City." Father Mariko answered.

"Martius City…that is where Yzak lives." Athrun said as he realized who might be the one behind Kira's torture. "Excuse me father could I use your phone?" Athrun asked as the blind man nodded and Athrun ran inside to call Yzak. Meanwhile Yzak was out back pulling out a small power generator from a work shed. Once it was out he attached a pair of jumper cables to the machine then he attached each end to the voodoo doll.

Inside Yzak's mother heard the phone ringing. She picked it up and she noticed it was Athrun. "Oh hello Athrun how are you today." The woman said with a smile.

"Excuse me Mrs. Jule is Yzak here?" Athrun asked.

"Oh I am afraid he is outside playing with the voodoo doll I got him. I think he is going to electrocute it next. Do you want me to get him?" Mrs. Jule asked.

"He's playing with a what! Mrs. Jule please get that Voodoo doll away from Yzak. Whoever he is tormenting it is working." Athrun informed.

"What." Mrs. Jule asked with a confused expression as she noticed in the background behind him that Kira was holding a light bulb for father Mariko while one of the children was trying to remove a dead bulb. Suddenly Mrs. Jule turned her head to see Yzak turning on the power generator. Suddenly Kira was getting electrocuted as the light bulb in his hand turned on and it started glowing while Kira's head was starting to stand up. "So does dolls really do work? Sorry Athrun I have to go, because I want to buy one for myself. That bitch Eileen is really going to get it." Mrs. Jule said as she hung up and ran out the door.

Athrun was listening to the dial tone while he was worried about Kira. He knew he had to do something about Yzak's addiction to torment Kira, but he knew it would take him too long to reach PLANT because Kira would be wreaked beyond repair. So Athrun picked up the phone and he called someone else. Someone who might be able to put an end to this madness.

A little while later while Yzak was trying to figure out how else he could torment Kira the pilot of the Duel had a visitor from someone. It was Dearka, and the young fellow was walking up to Yzak. Yzak didn't notice him as the ZAFT pilot was sitting on the tree stump thinking of new ways of tormenting Kira. Before Yzak could see it coming Dearka knocked Yzak out by poking him with a dart filed with a sleeping potion. Yzak was out cold in minutes.

Dearka grabbed the voodoo doll of Kira and left, but before leaving he took some of Yzak's hair. Later that evening after Yzak regained consciousness he was looking around frantically for the doll, but he heard the phone ringing so he went to answer it. He picked it up and he was surprised to see that it was Athrun.

"Athrun why are you calling me." Yzak asked with a glare on his face.

"I called to warn you if you torment my friend again there will be consequences." Athrun warned as he held up a voodoo doll that looked like Yzak. "And I do mean consequences." Athrun added as he started twisting the right arm of the doll. Yzak could fell his arm twisting. Athrun released his hold on the doll.

"You blackmailing son of a." Yzak was shouting, but the sliver haired pilot stopped when he noticed that Athrun was about to poke the voodoo doll of Yzak in the butt with a large needle.

"Remember torment anyone else with a voodoo doll and I will make sure that person has fun with your voodoo doll." Athrun warned. "I hate to do this to you Yzak, but you left me with no other choice." Athrun also noted. "Well I will be seeing you around." Athrun said as he hung up and Yzak was seriously pissed off.

The nightmare of the Voodoo doll was over, but as for Kira's voodoo doll. It became Lacus's favorite new doll as she hugged it each night and she held it in her arms while she slept. Lucky for Kira; Lacus wasn't hugging the doll too tightly. Athrun kept the other Voodoo doll of Yzak in the event the Duel pilot tried to torment anyone else. Everyone lived happily ever after all expect for Eileen Canaver who was suffering from a lot of unexplained back pains.

THE END

(Until someone else gets their hands on a voodoo doll)

A/N: I hoped you guys enjoyed that story. I am sorry about the torment I had done to Kira.


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